She Loves - Twenty Three Six Five

Day 20 of 365

Sick of new years resolutions, she was on a mission of self discovery. A path of self love. Where does she start? Living in a world where success, popularity and extreme sex appeal were targets that needed to be met in order to make a foot print into the world. She had to convince herself that she didn't need any of that and thought back to the times she wanted to trade places with someone who made her feel like a lesser woman. Like her path didn't matter, her struggle wasn't beautiful. As a matter of fact now, what is a struggle? Struggle is the word you dare not mention. It's concealed by the many material extras of life. A showy display of everything that doesn't define you. Where is the beauty in accomplishment if the struggle isn't appreciated?

She was on a mission. A mission like no other. A mission to accept her flaws for what they were. That they were but a speckle of who she is as a person. And there is beauty in the person she is now than who she was before and who she will become. She knew the only person who could accomplish this mission was her and she planned to appreciate every determined effort she made. Because she wanted to explore all the beauties of her, The Struggle.

The Struggle. Females go through everyday. The Struggle they have within them. Comparing themselves to qualities and physical attributes they wish could be bought like clothes on the shelves. Shoes on the racks. Window shopping for the perfect fit and when that's no longer the trend, onto the next one. The Struggle. The Struggle that this is our reality.

If this is our reality, what are we realising? That we don't have freedom to be ourselves? And what we make our reality has an impact on the quality of our existence. Our state of truth.

Suit Up

PHey everyone! It's been a while but here's another rare post from me!

So it's almost the end of January and I think it's time we all get out of that slump we've been in and start working hard again- and of course by we, I mean me. As always I can't get focused until I've bought myself a new outfit! 

This outfit was perfect for getting into that working mentality (and for once it's all clothes owned by me). Partly inspired by Barney from 'How I met your mother' this look is titled suit up becuase suiting up just means to put on your best and get ready to work hard! So I hope you all start off the week right and continue to make that money by working hard!!

 

Blazer Playsuit- Misguided

Shirt- Charity shop

Boots- Public Desire

Bag- New Look 

Tights- Primark

She Loves - Four Three Six Five

Day 4 of 365

He was infatuated by the fact that he was pursued but was never interested in pursuing especially not her. He liked the attention he was given

 like we all dobut his craving for attention almost gave him a sense of entitlement like he expected everyone to recognize his beauty and accept the fact they could never have him emotionally. He enjoyed playing with feelings. He would safeguard his heart, mind and soul but would free his body to any loose spirit.Why?

Because he could.

She hated him. She hated the fact she couldn't have him. She hated that in his eyes she could never be as good enough for him. She hated that he couldn't see she was one of a kind, that her love was rare, copyrighted to just her

 and who she chose to share it with.

So deep, it overflowed through tears and words when she spoke with passion.

Then she started to hate herself.

When has that kind of love been demonstrated to herself? Not from him.

Evidently not from herself either.

She thought if she loved herself enough why would she need validation from someone else's heart and mouth to convince her that she is everything?

 The moon and stars.

 Since when did anyone's inability to see her worth decrease her value?

 Should she let anyone, let alone a male choose how she views herself?

 Why is it that she felt she could only hear of her beauty through someone else's words?

And when those words proved null when it came to actions that it was due to her unworthiness?

It didn't add up in her head.

She became frustrated, angry with herself. She had been forever fighting with herself within. Then loneliness befriended her, gave her company.

The type of company that encouraged to rely on anybody else but herself.

To waste countless amount of time and energy scouting for that person she could entrust her everything with, even her being.

Her existence.

Little did she know that person she longed for was herself.

-Thanai